[N1 Outdoors]

Tell your craziest or most memorable hog hunting story!

[RC]

Best hog hunting story ever… My bud and I were setting up a hog trap on the property we lease. The trip out there set the precedence of the type of day we were about to have.

Pulling into the property, the hog trap gate clipped a low hanging branch and broke the branch and twisted the gate support to the trap.

No biggie, a little manpower and we bent the gate back into being operational. We knew we had some nuisance hogs out there, and by the time we “turned the corner” on the trail to a field, we realized it had just gotten a lot worse. An acre or better of the field was rooted up overnight, and i was worried my 1 tire fire of a pickup might not make it to where we had planned on dropping the trap.

Good ol’ Betsy made it just fine. We unloaded the trap, camo’d it in palmetto fronds, set it, and began baiting the trap.

Now… I probably should have prefaced this with the fact we knew we would be addressing our hog problem, and had brewed up a nasty batch of soured corn in a black 55 gallon barrel filled with corn, water and several yeast packets, left to ferment in the sun for a week.

This was some wretched stuff. I mean, this stuff probably should’ve been wearing a hazmat label while we transported it.

We crack the lid on the barrel and immediately both of us begin to dry heave, and I could see it on my buddy’s face that he too was second guessing the concoction we made. But, we continued. We each had a plastic pitcher and we started loading up the trap, one vile scoop at a time.

There had to be 50 lbs of that nauseating concoction in the trap, topped of with some of the excess liquid being poured on top of the fronds that were laid on top of the trap providing shade.

After we had finished baiting the trap, we both stood back admiring our work … from far enough away that we weren’t being drop kicked in the olfactory receptors. Then, my buddy has a visible “aha” moment, and runs to the back of the truck and emerges with a stale loaf of bread.

Never mind my first reaction of, ‘where did that come from?”… There wasn’t time to ask anyway, as he was already barreling towards our masterpiece slices in hand, and in motion to throw them in.

1 piece, 2 pieces, 3… BLAM! the trap is triggered and the door crashes down.

I immediately start laughing hysterically, and he asks, ” what’s so funny?”

That’s about when he realizes the gravity of the situation, and drops his head knowing he’d be the one crawling inside this odiferous den of putridity.

And in he went… This was one of those moments I felt like a bad friend. Sure, I could’ve gone in myself, but what I couldn’t do, was stop laughing, just as he couldn’t stop heaving.

At one point I’m rolling on the ground holding my side from laughing. (I’m still laughing as I’m typing this!)
Yes, I even pulled out my phone and snapped a now deleted picture.

I wish I could say this is where the hilarity ended, but it was not. He got the trap reset, gets ready to escape the sanctum of stench, and the cordage breaks, slamming the door back down with him still inside. At this point its over, I’m done. I’m no longer trying to stop throwing up from the smell, but instead from laughing. I’m doubled over, tears in my eyes, and have lost all control to even help him at this point.

A good minute or two goes by before I can regain composure enough to hunt through the truck for another piece of cordage and raise the gate on the trap to reset it. Meanwhile, the entire time he’s been in there he’s been sitting in a hotbed of funk, and remember that excess liquid poured on top of the fronds over the trap? … yep, he’s literally soaking in it now.

He gets out of the trap, and without skipping a beat, strips down to his boxer shorts, walks to the back of the truck, gets in the bed and simply states, “let’s go.”

The entire ride home I’m glancing in the rear view, still giggling about what just happened, as he sat there stoically, knowing he smelled worse than a dog fart.

[N1 Outdoors]

Awesome story RC! We can almost smell it from here!

[Author]

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